Hi readers. My name is Simone and I’m the author of the cheeky and sexy blog, Skinny Dip. I’m here today to share my experiences of the Eva Couples Vibrator by Dame Products.
I’ve had my eyes on Eva ever since my friend told me that she’d found “the most amazing sex toy ever” and urged me to get one of my own. Naturally, I was intrigued.
If you’ve spent any time browsing the pages of Sexcuse Moi, you’ve probably stumbled across Eva. She looks like an adorable beetle that fits in the palm of your hands and promises to take partnered sex to a whole other level.
Eva is the first hands-free, strap-free, non-intrusive couples vibrator. Made of the smoothest silicone, Eva’s flexible wings fit snugly under a woman’s labia majora, making it possible to experience clitoral stimulation during intercourse or while playing solo. Eva is designed to stay out of the way during penetrative sex, giving you a boost of stimulation while leaving your hands free to move around and focus on intimacy.
She’s made of phthalate free, medical grade silicone; is water resistant, features a motor with three different speeds, and is completely rechargeable by USB.
How to use Eva.
Since Eva’s wings are meant to fit under your labia majora, it might take a few tries to get the positioning right. Start by tucking the toy in place while it’s not vibrating. The closer the wings are tucked towards your body, the more secure it will feel. You can then turn it on and play around with it’s positioning so that it provides stimulation exactly where you want it. Pro tip: while lube generally makes toy play and partnered sex feel awesome, avoid adding lube directly to Eva. She needs some friction to stay in place.
She’s very versatile. You can use Eva during penetrative sex, while pleasuring your partner, underneath a harness or for solo play - either alone or with another penetrative toy like a dildo or vibrator.
How she feels.
I’m currently without a partner so I decided to try Eva for solo play. Long story short: I don’t think solo play is Eva’s specialty. I found that the vibrations alone, while steady, weren’t quite enough to get me off. I also had to hold the toy in place with a finger, so it wasn’t hands free (for me). My general impression of Eva is that she’d work best coupled with some penetration - either from another toy or a partner. Perhaps I’ll get a chance to try this in the future!
In the meantime, I’ll continue to use my favorite clitoral vibrator, The Crave Duet for solo play.
With that said, I don’t want my experience to be the final word. To get a more balanced perspective, I spoke to my friend who initially recommended Eva. She uses the toy regularly with her partner.
When asked what she loves most about Eva, she shared, “Eva is very functional and an easy design to use. It's unobtrusive for couples sex and facilitates more consistent orgasms. find the Eva to be really effective because it doesn't interfere when you are having sex with your partner but it gives you the ability to get off every time. It also makes it a lot easier coordinate climaxing with your partner, which is a bonus.”
She explained that for her, Eva stays in place during sex but, “I always have a finger on it to direct the stimulation. I didn't really find it that hard to figure it out - it's fairly self explanatory but I think you develop your own style as you get used to using it.”
I think this goes to show that not every toy is going to work the same for each body. The nice thing about Eva is that she has flexible wings, so it’s relatively easy to play around with the toy to find what works for you. Additionally, the Dame website (makers of Eva) has a bunch of really great tips and tricks on how to make the most out of your Eva experience.
As my friend says “Eva has definitely improved sex for me and made me expect an orgasm every time rather than just hope for one.”
Amen to that.
Image Credits: Dame Products
]]>When people think of Auguste Rodin, they imagine The Thinker, perhaps even his famous Gates of Hell. But anyone who has walked among his sculptures, even those figures that started as designs for what would become the portal depicting Dante's Inferno, such as Eternal Springtime, The Kiss, Fleeting Love, and Paolo and Francesca, would find it difficult to deny their eroticism despite their association with eternal damnation. Indeed, despite Rodin's love of Dante, the famous work served as a spectacular vehicle for the artist's interest in the erotic. The word "springtime" in one of those works clearly communicates the intent -- Rodin, like many artists in the 1870s, was a fan of Japanese art, in particular the explicit prints called shunga, or "picture of spring."
The eroticism in his work made the French sculptor controversial but Rodin loved the female body, both admiring it and depicting it. He enjoyed showing women not as nimble creatures being taken by men, but as participants in their own right, in possession of their sexuality. And it wasn't simply the female body which scandalized the French public. In 1883, his sculpture Age of Bronze, which shows a nude young man, caused something of a sensation. It was reviewed by the French newspaper L'Intransigeant, which said, "this slim, standing youth has all the raw grace of primitive times in which a creature would display himself with no care for civilized modesty."
The France we imagine, full of sex of licentiousness, was not the France in which Rodin lived. The French Revolution was as much about changing the structure of society as it was about doing away with its immorality. The Empire and Restoration continued the march against debauchery and indecency. The director of the Department of Fine Arts even complained to Charles X about the state of the Louvre, saying, "Decency is offended, parents scarcely dare take children of either sex through the rooms of antiquities, and girls interested in the arts must stop themselves from contemplating and studying the finest models if they have not lost all sense of modesty."
Things did not change after the Second French Revolution in 1830. In fact, the famous work now most strongly associated with that revolt -- Liberty Leading the People by Eugène Delacroix, which shows part of a woman's breast -- was widely considered at the time to be completely antithetical to the French idea of liberty. The French newspaper Le Moniteur Universel tore it apart, saying, "This characterless head, this half-naked body, this deformed bosom with its faded flesh -- surely none of these things correspond to the concept of the painter or to the idea that we have of the fine and noble liberty that triumphed on 29 July."
During the reign of Louis-Philippe I, the Bibliothèque Royale began listing all books deemed morally repugnant. In 1857, the author Gustave Flaubert faced charges of "offending public morals" over his book Madame Bovary. Thirty years later, a moral panic involving masturbation, best illustrated by Pierre Garnier's Onanism Alone And In Pairs In All Its Forms and Their Consequences, erupted. But none of this stopped Rodin, who -- when not sculpting -- was busy sketching and painting women reclining, their legs spread, many of them caressing themselves. It is these less well-known works are some of Rodin's most revealing in terms of his interest in the erotic.
The Erotic Art online gallery and the Musée Rodin have a number of his watercolors and drawings, which are well worth the look. One of them, Study of a Woman Nude, Standing, Arms Raised, Hands Crossed Above Head, was recovered from Cornelius Gurlitt, who was found in 2014 of being in possession of a number of artworks looted by the Nazis during World War II for being "degenerate."
]]>Last year, a mobile consumer study reiterated what we already knew: that our smartphones tend to get in the way of our romances and sex lives. But a host of apps have been cropping up to make our attachment to these devices a feature instead of a bug.
For singles and the polyamorous, there is Nipple, the digital little black book that lets you keep track of your encounters and save details about your partners, including likes and dislikes. For those into the quantified movement, there's Spreadsheets, an app that lets you track your sexual performance, down to average thrusts per minute and decibel level. For couples looking to spice things up, there's Kahnoodle, which turns committed life into a game. Ever wished you got push notifications for sex? This app's for you.
This is only the start.
Image Credits: phone1 by Billy Warhol, or phone2 by Vincent Lee
]]>Every traveler can list their essentials off the top off their heads, the things they always pack no matter what the destination. The same is true of sex, whether you're planning a night in or heading out to one of those Eye Wide Shut sorts of sex parties. At home, you may stash things in a drawer, or -- if you're feeling more discreet, a Toibocks ($109.95). On the go, you may use a briefcase, like this dowel rod classic ($133.99), or a doctor's bag, like this dark brown gladstone leather beauty ($ 233.49). The means of storage and transport may change, but the contents are forever.
These contents begin with lube. Silicone is your best bet, like Silicone Lube by the Museum of Sex, which works with latex and does double-duty as a massage oil. Then come the safety protocols. Condoms, are, of course, a given. Always have a variety of condoms you like on hand, or hit up Lucky Bloke or Loveability for some samplers to feel out your options. Dental dams don't have to bore you -- Glyde and Line One offer flavored dams that will take going downtown and rim jobs to another level. Nitrile gloves are perfect for touching every part of one another without worry -- perfect for hookups or play parties. Nitrile isn't an issue for those with latex sensitivity, and you can use oil-based massage oils while wearing them without compromising their integrity. Keep in mind that latex condoms don't have this property, so if you are fond of oil-based lubricants, you'll want to go with polyurethane condoms instead of latex (the LifeStyles Skyn line offers options, and Trojan has Supra Bareskin).
Single-use sex toys are the crown jewel of the sexual essential kit: Tenga Eggs enable one to lavish attention on a male lover without having to suck on a condom and bullet vibes achieve the same for your lady friends, if dental dams aren't your thing. For sex itself, the vibrating Primo Apex is an undeniable value-add. Don't forget the handy pack of wipes ($8.95). Everything else rests on the imagination. And you've got that handled.
]]>It only takes one minute of browsing the Secret app to see that a lot more people than you ever imagined enjoy attending sex parties. And there is always that sad commenter, too, somewhere in the thread, asking, "where are these sex parties?" whose question will forever go unanswered. That will never be you -- you know the places to go no matter what major hub you find yourself in. But maybe next time, if you're feeling charitable, you'll give that commenter this list:
Twist is a private sex party that happens every Friday and Saturday in San Francisco that bills itself as a positive, non-threatening space for couples and swingers to explore sexual pleasure in a safe, discreet and non-judgmental way. Attendees can come to participate or simply observe -- organizers take great pride in their no-pressure code of conduct that puts consent at the forefront of all experience. To get an invite, all you need to do is contact the organizers.
Behind Closed Doors are pop-up invitation-only sex parties that unfold in secret locations all over Manhattan, from tony penthouses to posh lofts. Admission is open to couples and single women. To get in on the fun, you need to fill out an application and submit a photograph -- but don't worry if you don't think you're a perfect 10. While organizers work hard to buck the stereotype of swinging couples as unattractive, looks are not the only thing they're looking for in attendees. Single guys can check out SiN, a monthly event from the same organizers that is open to couples, single women and single men -- but only if they're willing to get down.
Sanctum is a members-only club in Beverly Hills where things are known to get more than a little bit dirty. To get in, you need to apply and submit three photographs. Don't be surprised if you hear back from organizers with very specific instructions as to what not to wear. As a general rule, you can expect men to be in tuxedos or black suits and women in evening wear or lingerie. Masks are mandatory. It's all part of the fun, which, while committed to offering a little something for everyone, is unambiguously slanted toward the male-as-dominant, woman-as-submissive dynamic.
Image Credit: Celia Chamizo
]]>"If you are a disciple of one of those calorie-counters who turn the joys of eating into a form of punishment, close this book at once; it is too lively, too aggressive, and far too impertinent for you," the artist warned in the introduction. As perfect accompaniment, all the recipes were illustrated with extravagant, surrealist erotic imagery. And it isn't simply the images that are arousing, either: the tenth chapter of the 1973 book was completely dedicated to aphrodisiacs. This is Dali's Casanova cocktail, a brandy and orange drink for those in need of a pick-me-up before a seduction:
]]>Text: The streaming service Spotify got a makeover a while back including a darker theme and heavier focus on content discovery for users, but the best upgrade came via search, which enables users to look up ready-made playlists using words that describe moods. Yes, Spotify is usefully tagging playlists for you with mood keywords. This means that you never have to worry about setting up a playlist at the last minute again. You're a busy person. Booty call on the way? They've got you covered. Type in "sexy" into the search field for goodies like the official Spotify mix "smart is the new sexy", a wicked collection of tunes including Lana del Rey, Coldplay, Moderat, Haim, AWOLNATION and many more. Set up a Sonos or Echo, and you're all set. Less preparing, more enjoying.
Image Credit: Hector Milla
]]>This here is the work of Roland Brévannes, a French author and artist who between 1903 and 1939 wrote and illustrated almost one hundred fetish novels. The images in this post come from the book Le Dressage de la Maid-Esclave, which was published in 1930 by one of the Paris publishing houses that specialized in the fetish genre,
Brévannes is perhaps best remembered for his depictions of women in positions of dominance over men or other women, though his work explored a number of fetishes, from cross-dressing to role-playing animal characters. He never signed his work using his name, opting instead for pseudonyms which frequently employed approximate anagrams, such as Don Brennus Aléra and Bernard Valonnes. Because of the number of pseudonyms used and the subversive nature of the subject matter, we don't know much about him or the precise number of books he penned. Almost every book of his is out of print and very difficult to find. Nevertheless, the erotic art archive Erotomane has a fine collection of images from his works as well as over 45,000 others in the category of vintage erotica. Indulge yourself.
Via Au Carrefour Etrange.
]]>According to LELO, maker of design-conscious sex toys, in the weeks before a major sporting event, four out of five purchases on their site are made by men. This is a big contrast to other times during the year, when purchases for the Swedish luxury pleasure brand are pretty even between men and women.
LELO believes that this change is a way to keep things civil at home for men whose partners don't enjoy sports as much as they do. In a sense, the sex toy becomes a peace offering in preparation for their absence or inattention. While the top-selling toys during these pre-game periods (the Gigi 2, Soraya, and Hula Beads) could theoretically be repurposed for use by men, that doesn't really make sense given the amount of exciting luxury male toys on the market.
And so it is that when the Super Bowl creeps close on U.S. calendars -- or the Champions League final on those of Europeans -- the trend shifts dramatically from an even split of sales between men and women. Before the Super Bowl, the usual 50 percent of buys made by men at LELO.com jumped to 74 percent. In the week before the Champions League final -- between two Spanish teams -- men's purchases jumped to 88 percent.
In preparation for the World Cup, the number of men shopping has peaked, though it's important to note that's not the only sporting event going on right now. The NBA finals were June 5, too -- just as the Olympics came less than a week after the Superbowl. A chart defining the exact dates of peaks, or the raw data itself, would go a long way to better analysis. Nevertheless, this is a fascinating trend. Other toy sellers and distributors should consider looking at their own sales data (of LELO and other pleasure products) to determine whether this is an industry-wide trend.
Image Credits: jogobonito.jpg by Paul Domenick, lelo1.jpg courtesy of LELO
]]>Her head’s thrown back; her lips open at the imperative of a moan. Her white dress is hiked up, her legs spread to receive her lover – a human-sized tarantula, its palpi resting on its human lover’s lap, its mandibles deep between her legs. The violently disturbing image is one of many created between 2004 and 2005 by the media firm TBWA to raise awareness about AIDS in France.
For decades, governments and groups have worked to inform the public about sexually transmitted infection, often resorting to similarly terrifying imagery. In 1987, the Australian National Advisory Committee on AIDS ran a television spot in which the Grim Reaper bowled down groups of men, women and children. During the 1940s, the United States spent a significant amount of propaganda turning venereal disease into a matter of patriotism and natural security.
These, like many other campaigns, illustrated the danger of infection clearly, but at a price. The TBWA ads turned people living with HIV or AIDS into horrific arachnids. In Australia, the Grim Reaper was soon identified with HIV-positive people, specifically gay men. The WWII posters warning servicemen about the dangers of syphilis and gonorrhea effectively turned “good time girls” into a lipstick-wearing, cigarette-smoking, juke joint brigade of first-class saboteurs.
The ads might have brought people’s vulnerability into the forefront of their minds, but they dehumanized and reinforced stigma against people living with sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Research since has identified the problem with this approach: it turns out that stigma is one of the greatest barriers to successfully battling the spread of STIs.
In their 1997 paper focusing on factors that contribute to the spread of STIs, Thomas R. Eng and William T. Butler noted that stigma around infection leads to a higher incidence of people ignoring symptoms, delaying treatment, and refusing to seek medical care at all. These findings have been reinforced by subsequent research.
In 2008, another paper – this one looking into attitudes toward pubic lice, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, human papillomavirus (HPV), herpes, and HIV and AIDS – illustrated this stigma. Researchers noted that although HIV and AIDS were the most stigmatized conditions, all STIs were stigmatized regardless of their seriousness.
“The data suggest that rather than being viewed in terms of a hierarchy of stigma (i.e., from least to most stigmatized), STIs should be perceived as a class of infections with the global power to stigmatize,” conclude authors Bronwen Lichtenstein, Tess M. Neal and Stanley L. Brodsky. “The finding that STIs were so perceived regardless of their curability, variability (there are many types of infection), or prevalence in U.S. society is further evidence of the power of stigma to create global fear about STIs as a basis for social exclusion. […&91; On the one hand, respondents were moderately biased against infected people and somewhat likely to avoid seeking treatment or notifying partners. On the other hand, they were very concerned about the morbidity of STIs and about feeling dirty, embarrassed, ashamed, secretive, and shunned in the event of a positive diagnosis.”
When Buffalo photographer Andrea Brough decided to do a photo series narrating the story of a couple grappling with a positive test result, she wasn’t thinking about the history of sexual health ads. She only knew one thing: she didn’t want to be preachy.
“Over the years I’ve had several friends and myself deal with the effects of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and what really struck me was the staggering numbers,” she told me when we spoke over the phone. “One in six sexually active individuals has herpes. It’s staggering. You get six friends in a room and at least one has been exposed to some sort of STD in their life, either they have already been treated or they have it.”
In February, the United States’ Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported 110 million cases of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, herpes, human papillomavirus (HPV), trichomoniasis, and human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). They estimate some 20 million new infections in the U.S. per year, with half of these affecting people between the ages of 15 and 24. While four of the STIs analyzed by the CDC are treatable – chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and trichomoniasis – many of these infections go untreated because they often have no symptoms.
“STDs in general tend to be invisible,” Brough added. “A lot of us are walking around without knowing that we have them. That was the point: to visualize an invisible thing and really push the emotional idea of how these diseases affect people.”
Brough used a Calumet 45NXII view camera made available to her by the University of New York at Buffalo to capture her subjects. Most people would know a view camera in an instant if they saw an image of the old-school device with its accordion body so common to cartoons of our youth. To many photographers interested in high quality prints, the view camera isn’t a device of the past, but a tool of large-format photography. With its four by five to eight by ten negatives, view cameras can achieve a level of detail that leaves even some digital cameras in the dust. But working with a view camera isn’t as simple as shooting with digital cameras can be.
“The original idea behind the view camera – the mechanics – still works and they’re great, even though some people consider them an obsolete technology.,” said Brough. “It does take a lot of work and time to set up each shot. You need to set up the tripod, you need to get the focus right, the composition correct – and the exposures can be longer. For some of the shots you have to sit there still for fifteen seconds, waiting for the film to be exposed. There was a lot of work that went into this series.”
The result of her labors, which she presented as her thesis in 2005, is Perilous Transmission, a painstaking work of humanity that transcends the easy message of most sexual health awareness campaigns. The series shows a couple as they work out their emotions following infection, as well as a cast of other characters going about their daily lives, showing the viewer that there is life after a positive test result.
To visually illustrate what is so often invisible, Brough used her models’ skins as a canvas. She thought a long time about how she was going to show positive status, conscious of the possible stigma that easy solutions – such as the biohazard symbol – would convey.
“I was trying to think of some kind of symbol that would help people see what was going on but also question what was going on,” she told me. “The markings ultimately were made with a rubber stamp that I found at a craft store. The stamp is actually supposed to be an image of a water ring – you know how you put your glass of water down on a coffee table and it leaves a mark? That’s what it is.”
The water ring gives the impression of a cell – but it’s a neutral image. While some of the shots inspire very emotional reactions in viewers, the imagery used to portray the models’ status retains its neutrality, making all the images depicting life with STIs all the more poignant. Without the stigma, a viewer is capable of seeing beyond disease to the people themselves – the young woman putting on makeup, the couple cuddling.
“It can be very shocking that humans are so vulnerable,” Brough said about her series. “We go about our lives and never think any of these scary things that can happen to us. I hope to make people stop and think and maybe even learn.”
Perilous Transmission hasn’t been viewed as a series very often, but the pieces are available for purchase here on Sexcusemoi as 11 by 14-inch chromogenic photographic prints.
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